Saturday, October 11, 2008

Simpler times and technology

First off let me state that my intention is to create this space as a daily practice for downloading a thought, eventually uploading a new piece of art each day and equally important connect with you (even if it is just me viewing right now).

This practice may turn out to be an egoic exercise into creating less and thinking more which to me equates as wasting time. However, initially I believe there is a positive way to use this forum and create space in my life for life to just show up. By pulling down the walls of thought, veil of fears and functioning out of a role or act (to look good - or not look bad) - all of which will surface here I am sure because they are human traits or definition of existence. The practice for me is to recognize them, call them to the surface and let them be so my inner self or being can shine through.

OK now to the post: Simpler times to me is the desire to bring back the adventure, patience and experience I had when I was a child. To do that in this marketed world of speed, flashes of thought, short attention span and have it now mentality (all of which is a part of me) is like juggling flaming swords with a blindfold on. My spirit desires the times (feeling, and experience of ) where I waited all week for a show to come on and then focused my attention on it, because we only had a few channels, no VCR etc... NO TV is actually better.
The feeling of laying in a field of tall grass in the fall with the warm sun keeping the chill of the air at bay - just over the surface of my body, all the while I could hear it and smell it. Calling and going to a friends house and actually just sharing in the fun without any other thought taking the foreground.
As I am typing this thought in this blog (technology) I am transformed back not into nostalgia as it may appear, but more of a realization or sense that I can still be that now. Maybe it is not a battle of technology vs. simpler times. Maybe it is about using the technology that applies to who I am being and what activities fall from that. If I am being that man who desires that space, connection, experience and adventure then possibly some of the technology (definitely the marketing/thoughts of who I should be as a man, father, husband, friend and successful artist should be or should look like) will just fall away. The more I continue to believe the thoughts and position the two (simple time and technology) against each other, the greater the frustration. I created the heading the statement "simpler times and technology" unconsciously using and, while my old story of "either or" had me believing versus.
This does bring to my awareness an ongoing conversation that surfaces for me which is "either or, pick one". I never remember when I am in that conversation that I do not have to pit one against the other!

I never even got into the frustration part of technolgy which spurred this whole thought before coming to a sense of inner rest. Chalk one up for technology in the foreground, but give all of my thanks to BEING in the background - that which no-thing could exist without it!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

What can you say about yourself in 30 seconds or less?

Well I am pressed for time this morning and at the same time I wanted to create the practice of downloading my thoughts so...
I have a few shows coming up this month and I have the usual request for the artist bio so the viewer can get a sense of who the artist is and their background. This is always a tough conversation (internal) for me because one conversation is "I am not as good or good enough" due to the fact I did not complete my schooling at the Art Institute even though I believe with all of my being that I am an artist and have been all my life. The other conversation is that which I know what ever I say/write is not who I am - not even close to who I am.
So who am I ?
I am a part and whole of all that is life and living. I think I am even a part of all that has been in my thoughts, but really who I am is the heartbeat, the direction of the light and the movement of the wind in the moment I am conscious to all that is. My roles are a few: Artist, Father, Husband, Friend, Musician, Teacher, etc... but the whole of me is that energy of creation and that is what comes alive in my artwork when I allow it to happen.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Taking any step, but what step to take.

Well this is the first step for me and an immediate thought on my mind is one I will use to kick off this blog.

Actually the first thought is, "who cares what you have to say anyway", but I will attempt to side step that for the present moment.

One of the tricky steps for me in anything is, "where do I start?"
I get the picture of what I would like to create in my life and I juggle the doubts (I should just drop those balls) of it ever happening - probably like most of us. But really where do I start so I am making the right action or going in the right direction?
In the statement above is, for me, the beginning to the answer. I have found this in some of the paintings I have started (completed some) where I have struggled the most. I have and will continue to apply it in my life too, because more and more when I am really present to what is going on around me I see that there is absolutely no differentiation between art and life (NONE).
Back to the statement, "...the right action" or ... the right direction"

When I get so confused about doing what is right my actions are controlled, non expressive and cautious or unsure. Chances are I will have it all thought out and recreated in my head to the point were the execution is uninspired and not worth seeing brought into existence.

I have been around much of the newer (although it has been around for ever just packaged differently) way of thinking concerning having what you want in your life, visualize-feel-expect, be-do-have principles, you know "the secret" that was so well kept we all forgot about it. Much of the information is good and has caused renewed thought in my life, but most of it is just over marketed hyped in order to sell a book, workshop or DVD's in order to fulfill their (purveyor of the message) dreams of a life they want and the intention and/or the message has little or nothing to do with actually forwarding the universal communication of the planet or helping you to connect with the unique voice or expression you are in the world.

Anyway back on track, where do I start? The second I have a thought or inspiration for a painting that is followed by a fear, doubt, disempowering thought - that is the action I start on and it never is a a study in futility because it is a practice of believing in myself at the very least and an adventure into the unkown with an expressive out come (experiencing real life) as the desired outcome and a piece of work that is me in the moment.